can't BREATH

I have asthma... and thanks to Lyme & company, and Hashimoto's I don't have the BEST immune system....
So very often I have trouble doing something we all just DO.. naturally...
I have trouble BREATHING.
from asthma attacks, to sudden allergy asthma attacks, bronchitis, pneumonia, to pleurisy... I have experienced them all.. oxygen masks, neutralizer treatments.. all parts of my life at one point or another...
The THING about not being able to BREATH is..
you learn to take shallow breaths..
to not move suddenly,
to walk slowly, so as to not NEED more oxygen than you can actually obtain..
you learn to talk less... a LOT less..
it's frightening to feel the air in/out HURT, to NOT be able to breath freely
to gasp, and feel dizzy and confused and desperate..
but..
I have done it so often.. I at least KNOW the routine.. it isn't a big SHOCK to me... I KNOW what to expect...
I know that there is a right way to breath, and a wrong way to breath...
I have a device to HELP me work on breathing when I feel icky.. it measures how my breath goes.. I forget what it is called...I get a new one EVERY time I have surgery.. at one point I had 4 in my closet, when i got YET another...so I decided NOT to be a hoarder.. and dumped the old ones...
even if I hate it... I can prepare, even if .. just a little...
What is harder..
real life PHYSICAL breathing problems
or when people don't LET you breath...
have you ever been in a place, where it feels like you breath WRONG around a person or persons.. everything you say, do, the direction you look, the expression on your face, your very presence, or lack there of is somehow in judgement?
you are somehow.. condemned...
it's suffocating, frightening, you start watching HOW you walk,
HOW you talk,
you learn to not make sudden movements...
hmmm sound familiar..

LOVE is like OXYGEN
you need it to move about freely...
you need it to flow in your homes, and hearts to clean out the dust, and ick..
let's face it, there is nothing so lovely as opening up the windows and letting FRESH clean air in...
Nothing like hearing the joy and grace of the birds singing their lovely Praise to Jesus JUST outside the window...
nothing like hearing the hustle and bustle of life JUST outside, to remind you that LIFE will go on..
no matter how awful the day to be reminded, "this IS the day the Lord hath made... let us REJOICE and be glad in it" !
when you are not breathing, and you fall to the floor... it's wonderful to see the EMT's come with OXYGEN to help you breath again, to offer it full blast, direct to where it is needed... it is LIFE, without it we would DIE!
I have a rescue inhaler... I think of the scripture verses I have memorized as my spiritual rescue inhaler.. when I can't read because of migraine.. I can dwell upon those lovely words, upon the promises of my Savior...
but sometimes.. it's NOT enough..
sometimes I need a nebulizer treatment, or to be rushed to hospital... and get PURE oxygen...
Spiritually, I see my local Church as part of this... But included in each of our personal "churches" is the fellowship we get from family, friends, neighbors who ALSO know Jesus..
sometimes THEY can be the EMT's rushing to our side to OFFER direct access to the OXYGEN... LOVE

Love lets us breath
living freely in Christ...
for there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus...
Love covers a multitude of sin
God IS Love
and is patient, kind, never jealous boastful or rude....
it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things...
LOVE never fails..
it is a FRUIT of the Spirit...
along with joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control...

Loving is HARD.. when times are tough,
when we are pressed
persecuted
weary...
but it is possible, IN Christ

who should we love first and most?
the Word says that after Christ, we should have LOVE for the Saints...

If you feel like you JUST can NOT breath
if legalism, standard bearing, and/or condemnation
are pressing in on your OXYGEN supply

PRAY  - get in direct chit chat with GOD of the Universe!  He cares and loves you so very much!
Read the Word - if reading isn't an option, try to get the Bible (complete unabridged 66 books) on CD, and listen to it!
Find a fellowship of believers that will deliver OXYGEN on demand, who are hooked up direct to the source line, Christ JESUS!  Giver of LIFE and origin of LOVE
and don't what ever you do...
don't be an oxygen thief..
I have heard it said so beautifully..
you only spill what you are full of..
when you are being bumped and can not breath.. WHAT is coming out?
love?
grace?
joy?
peace?
patience?
gentleness?
goodness?
kindness?
self control?
we perhaps ALL need to work on this to varying degrees on any given day...
When there are brethren in your life, like this... pray for them, perhaps they are only giving what they have received.. Perhaps.. they are only spilling the ICK on you.. that they are full of...
and extend to them the same grace, same JESUS, same oxygen YOU need...

it's what Jesus said to do
"love one another as I have loved you... and also Love one another"

you ARE loved...
your sister... breathing in Christ
<><

walking by faith

What does walking by faith look like...?
What does it mean to you whe you read, or hear or even speak the words...
WALK by Faith and NOT by sight?
does it imply there will be seasons in my life where my vision will be... Lost?
where I will have naught to go by BUT my faith?
Does it almost demand that I need to be building my faith at ALL times so that I am prepared
to walk BY it alone
when and if the day should come that...
my vision is blurred
scatty,
broken
confused
or ...
lost
completely
....?
When you get too close to the north pole it freaks out your compass.. and it will spin and throw you in the wrong direction...
did you know that?
unless you are PREPARED.... unless you had studied
you would NOT.. and you would get lost in that tundra
so it is with God...
we must be prepared.. we must HAVE an authentic, real, HONEST walk with Jesus
because the day will come..
when suffering knocks at our door..
when our marriage FEELS broken
or the lab tests come back badly
and the doctor's normal jovial smile has vanished...
or the phone rings at three a.m.
or the flood waters rise...
when we must simply walk,
perhaps even crawl
by that faith
and there will be NOTHING else
not a single other thing
that will get us to tomorrow...

God promises though
His mercies are new in the morning..
so hold on...
don't fear going and forging new paths...
paving new ways you've not yet walked in
getting out of your comfort zone...
shore yourselves up
and be prepared...
to walk that walk of faith..

Jesus MEANT it when He told you in the Word..
HE will NEVER leave YOU
HE will NEVER forsake You..

you .. are... loved

i just don't love my husband anymore.. and I don't want your JESUS

what does one say..
when someone you love,
someone you know,
someone,
anyone in your life
just UP and decides
they don't love...
can't love..
haven't BEEN loving
and don't care to learn HOW to love once again
their husband...
and as far as Jesus is concerned..
they want NO part..
they want your counsel..
or perhaps they don't
but either way
they want YOU to keep your Jesus OUT of it..
Keep your Bible OUT of the conversation...
Keep it "normal"
and JUST be a friend...
what do you say
if you BELIEVE
in Jesus...

I could go on and on about the sanctity of marriage..
on and on about when and how and why and the "only's" of divorce.
but can we BE real and true and kitchen table FIRST....
because you'll get that when you read your theology books..
when you go to your counselor..
when you listen to your sermon..
in fact..
it's really and probably written ON your heart...
divorce SHOULDN'T be an option...

and yet
we live in a culture
in communities
in families
where it just IS commonplace...
and we HAVE to learn how to love people in this place of total pain...
in this place of rejection
and despair
and utter failure...

YES
Jesus can HEAL your marriage
Jesus can RESTORE your marriage
Jesus can RESSURECT your marriage
and your LOVE for one another
YES..
He can..

Maybe...
you JUST don't believe..
I do...
but in this case ... it isn't MY faith that needs to be the size of a mustard seed
it isn't me that needs to move a mountain...
maybe ME
the Christian Gal...
needs to LOVE you
LISTEN TO YOU
hear you...
hug you
encourage
you
and NOT waver from Christ for a minute
but BE like the Jesus I read about in my Bible...
not BE the Judgement
but BE the mercy
be the Grace...
because no matter how awful you think it is...
no matter how terrible the storm
how steep the climb
how uncertain the voyage...
Our God IS great
and He loves you...
and wants to help
and to heal
and to restore
and to make whole again...
and maybe
instead of hearing of wrath to come...
you need to know
you can run into the fathers arms because Jesus made a way for you..
and if my loving silence is what you need to believe that...
to believe the words I have already said..
than I am shushed..
and I am silenced...
and I am grieving
with you...
you ...
you are so loved....
and you ...
you can love again...
and will love again..
and will be loved again...
and are loved... very very loved...
God Is LOVE
I just can not keep Him out of me :)

drowning.......

Through the EYES of a Buddhist...

story told by Ron Carlson

Ron asked a converted missionary, "Why did you become a Christian? 

What is the difference between Buddhism and Christianity?"

He replied, "Ron, when I was a Buddhist, it was like I was drowning in a big lake, and I did not know how to swim.

I was going under for the third time,

when Buddha walked up to the edge of the edge of the lake

and began to teach me how to swim.

Buddha said,

"start moving your hands and kicking your legs,

but you have to make it to the shore yourself!"

Then Jesus Christ walked up to the edge of the lake,

but he did not stop there!

He dove into the lake,

swam out,

rescued me,

and brought me to shore.

After he brought me to shore,

then he taught me how to swim,

so I can go back and rescue others!"

My daughter read this quote to me this week. 

It was in a book by Ron Carlson & Ed Decker called Fast Facts on False Teachings,
 a book that I read years ago. 
I gave it to her, because she is reading the book KIM by Rudyard Kipling, and wanted to understand... really UNDERSTAND this people group, this llama, and this boys' culture.. Understand Buddhism..
Not that she might be all rude and sassy, but that she might able to know what they believe..
to be able to better LOVE them.... 
 It is why such books are on my shelf.. So that we might know them a little better, love them a little more, and not be ignorant as we read, and live, and walk about in this world..
That we not fear people, but confidently walk forward in GRACE and TRUTH, and welcome others into our life, freely sharing Jesus with them, as the Spirit leads us to...

I don't need to study Buddhism anymore, or the Koran, or Wicca, the Book of Mormon, or New Age,
 or any of it...

It took years for me to finally just pick up a Bible and read THAT all the way through...

I read so many other so called "holy" books...

I shared this quote with you, because it is so powerful..

so like my own testimony.

till Christ Came

I was drowning,

and now..

though the waters can be rough,

and I weary.

I am a swimmer swimming.

But only because

Jesus saved me