moments I don't love my husband anymore

there are these horrible moments.. that I just don't love my husband anymore... I am not as the Word declares... a LOVEing person... I am NOT patient.. and DO not wish to be... I am not KIND, and feel much like Pilot.. ready to wash my hands of THAT concept all together.. Love is never boastful.. but I WANT to boast... I FEEL like boasting, my flesh is burning with desire to boast...
boast of how I'd be FINE with out him... (though in about an hour I will tell you this is utter insanity)
boast of how I'd be perhaps BETTER without him (though he's the best part of this couple...everyone knows that)
boast how every problem in our lives is one that I foresaw, and had we heeded my wisdom COULD have been avoided (though that again in more sober, honest, humble moments would concede, that I have led us down some pretty silly paths...)  Love is also not jealous.. and sometimes I AM jealous.. sometimes.. in wisps of moments that fly by like a dashing storm, I AM jealous.... jealous of a million silly little things, that I have no right to be jealous of.. like car time...  when he could as easily be jealous of the bountiful hours I relish with my blessings... the list is silly... well actually there IS never any list... it's like a burst of wind whipping up the fallen leaves... fallen... like me.. fallen..
Love believes, and I don't want to believe.. sometimes, I just want to wallow.
and ultimately love HOPEs... and when you are grieving... HOPE is hard to come by... HOPE is all there is..

Ultimately... I do not love my husband... It is Christ in me who DOES...  I am a selfish gal.. I can be lovey, and sweet, sexy, and funny, but when push comes to shove.. I have a pretty great guy in mine..(for a fallen man), and he has a pretty ok gal in me (for a sinner)  and yet there it is.. LOVE like the movies will always burst and blow up, and flitter and float away like in those movies... and LOVE like in the Bible is simply impossible.

Unless it is Christ in you doing that loving... Letting you be loved... Jesus loves my husband in a way, that I never can, and yet providentially we are together, my husband and I .  For better (what we all would rather have) or for worse (when we'd like to call a divorce attorney, or grab a lovely glass of vino, and our gal pal), we are a couple... (a couple of misfits, a couple of sinners redeemed, a couple saved by grace, walking, stumbling on this path)  He said we were made one.. I don't understand it all.. but I am glad that even when my SELF does not feel LOVE at or towards my guy, my God in me does.. and I can call upon my Lord, and ask for help...

I can look to the counsel of Galatians when the fruit of the Spirit is spoken of.. and see.. that when this anger, or dislike, or unloving attitude comes up.. it isn't really just that my guy is a butthead (though that may be part of the problem)... The REAL problem is that I, ME, the author of this blog... is not bearing the fruits of the Spirit.. I am not full of the Joy of the Lord..
I am not rejoicing in the day... "this is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it"
I am not seeking first the kingdom of God..
I am not Loving the LORD with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, and loving my neighbor...the sin ultimately lies within MY heart...
If God can love me, redeem me, save me, and fill me
than I have everything I need to love my husband...
It is I who needs an attitude adjustment..

Does it get him off the hook for sinning against me... no..
If he is using ugly words and or abusive words is it MY fault... no
if he is sinning........... against this family is it my fault........ no
what if my husband hits (mine does not).. GET help!

Love covers a multitude of sins
does NOT mean
Loving your husband requires that you COVER up his sin, and hide it from the world
no...
that verse refers to letting the little things go.. learning to walk in GRACE..
abuse, or sins that are causing your marriage serious strife
sins like
pornography, gambling, sexual addiction, adultery, incest, drugs, drunkenness, abuse of any kind
(this is a small list)
these all mean that you need help..
you need PRAYER warriors
you do not need to complain or gossip
you need to find people who can pray with you, and HELP you and your husband.
http://www.nanc.org/ or http://www.biblicalcounselingcenter.org/ are two great resources for you to get counseling.. If the abuse is physical, you may need to call 911.  Please do not put yourself in physical danger.. YOU are NOT helping your husband by hiding his sin... It is helping him sin more by hiding it for him... you do not need to be ashamed..

Before the fall of man in the book of Genesis.. God made Eve.. God created Eve to be a suitable helpmate.. Before the fall... it was determined by God.. that man needed help.. that sounds ABOUT right to me...
since the fall.. well all the more..

Grace.. peace... and love.. I get it ALL from Jesus... I have precious little of mine own...He provides in abundance... and offers it freely unto you..

If you have come here wondering in your heart.. "dear Lord... I just don't love my husband any more..."  please know I am praying for you... In the past few weeks many many readers have come to this site based on an old article entitled this, and I have been praying and struggling over this topic.. so it would seem, my Lord and Savior has allowed my husband and I to be stretched yet again in this area... and well this is part II in a series..

If you have questions, comments, thoughts, please share... I will be searching the scriptures on this topic ... Praying for you, and Trusting God as He has us re explore LOVING our spouses... from my vantage point.. loving my husband....

Grace... on the outside looking in............

thinking of Christian... of Bunyan's famed Pilgrim's Progress, my mind is oft enraptured with the imagery used of a burden... A burden upon his back... One modern children's rendition even showed a beautiful painting of Christian with a terrible overloaded backpackers pack upon his back, as he walked with this upon him, he is visibly hunched over, nearly to a 90 degree angle... And so the image sticks in my mind.... Burdens....

Burdens can come in many forms... They can be illnesses, cancer, diabetes, thyroid disease, mental instability....Burdens can be financial.... job loss, foolish choices, a mortgage too high, a car loan, debt, even gambling... Some Burdens are ones people have put on us, and we've been too busy, or too silly to notice and take off.... Some Burdens can be ordained, while others have been brought on by ourselves... though we'd not be admitting it any time soon.... and yet sometimes, people are to quick to point the finger directly at us for each and every one of our burdens, forgetting that God is indeed sovereign, forgetting about grace entirely... and it is these people who need to just sit on their hands like good little boys and girls and remember their manners...

They ought to remember it's rude to point at people...

Burdens...
Another burden is the Standard, the Law....
Beyond the Commandments...
Those standards and rules that MAN has imposed upon us..
(As I have often referred to in this blog, when I speak of "standards" or Standard Bearing" I am referring to articles written by NORM WAKEFIELD... Please be blessed by looking those up :)

These Standards they make me think of a ceiling I once saw at a children's museum in San Francisco... The silly Ceiling my children called it... It rose and it fell, making optical illusions; making the daddy seem smaller than the child, making the child seem smaller than the door.... all done with lines and shadows, squares on the floor and the changing of the ceiling I believe.... It pressed down in the back... bearing down... and like a burden, made the person under it, SEEM more than they were.... MORE important, MORE mighty, and yet... it was an illusion... not at all UNLIKE living under the Law, or under the Standards.... Yet any room can do that, I FEEL bigger when I am in my kitchen than I do when I am standing beside the Grand Canyon... Because beside the Grand Canyon... I am tiny... yet next to my stove... I am not that tiny...

Grace....
Grace is like living on the beach. With the wide deep unpredictable ocean at your feet. The rocks and the cliffs there behind you, rising to their mighty crests, and the horizon... jetting before you... Grace is watching the sun rise, and set, the sky filled with its vast multitude of starry hosts prancing their stories across the night.... Grace is having nothing above you but the heavens... And while THAT is beautiful and amazing... it is indeed frightening.

Because walking, living, breathing in Grace requires Faith. Living in Grace means I will LIVE in the sunshine as well as in the storm; I will not retreat to be nestled in the safety of my cozy little home... I will dwell in the rain, the hail, the snow, the wind trusting in God to provide... I will bare my cross and follow... but I will be free in Jesus with out the burden... Grace means the sun will beat down upon me, the salt with season my tongue and lips, and the wind will tangle my hair.... Grace can get messy, but it wholey relies on Christ, proving in each moment HIS sufficiency... it does NOT require you to live on the beach... THAT would be another burden... this is symbolic... Burden means I am comfortable in Air Conditioning....everything... is neat, and tidy, or awfully close to it... it's a "controlled atmosphere" and I am the one controlling it, even if the storm hits, I can close the shutters, put on the AC, put on a movie and ignore that there is a storm... Where as... with Grace... I have NO choice but to face the storm, live through it, relying on God, putting my faith in Jesus each and every moment... bringing Him immense glory, and receiving tremendeous joy!

Lets FACE it... when the going gets rough we all like to know the rules... We all want our "to do list" so we can just FOLLOW IT.... We all want to check it off, and just BE SAFE.... little babies when not in mothers arms simply adore being in crib or bassinet, because of the comfort it brings to them... the wide open freedom at times can overwhelm their senses and stress them out... It is why they love to be swaddled as newborns... it is comforting, like being in the womb...There are times, when that bit of structure is needed to ensure their peace, but let there be slats for them to see.... for they want to see freedom.... So do we... We are frightened of it, we don't know what to DO with it, but we sure want to SEE it...We have windows looking OUT to grace... We talk about grace, listen to sermons on grace... Sing how amazing Grace is... But LIVE moment to moment by Grace?

Yet Jesus said it is by Grace we are saved (not of works) it is a GIFT of God.....

I am not advocating selling your home and living on a beach... I am indeed writing symbolically here. Follow my line of thinking if you can... Imagery friends :)
How many of us are on the beach...
How many of us do more than visit the beach once a week?
Once a month?
Once a year?
Do you live there?
Walk there,
get wet in the rain weathering the storms ON the beach?
Are you looking out onto the sand
or looking into the house or condo?
Looking for the ones you love, inviting them to follow as YOU follow Christ...?
or staring at your loved one on the beach, wondering why they are out there all WET?

Sorry for not writing lately...
The beach is miles long
I have been shelling by day and by night I've been stargazing...
The nights here have been long, and lonely...
and I only hope I don't cave and go back in...
My prayer is they'll come out and join me...
and KNOW that the Lord HE IS GOOD
He promised
to never leave me nor forsake me
that no matter what...
NO MATTER what....
&
I AM HIS
and HE will take care of me,
He pointed me to the sparrow, and showed me how He cared for them....
and wrote to me HOW much MORE HE cares for me
for you....
I can stand in the rain
the snow
I can be a fool for Jesus
and KNOW
He was made a fool for me...
and It WILL be ok
HE will provide, and care for me
if GOD is with me,
what ever do I have to be afraid of......

just on the outside.... looking in

Perseverance, proving character, hope... and abounding in grace...

Romans 4

4Now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. 5However, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness.

6David says the same thing when he speaks of the blessedness of the man to whom God credits righteousness apart from works:

7"Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.

8Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

16Therefore, the promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace and may be guaranteed to all Abraham's offspring—not only to those who are of the law but also to those who are of the faith of Abraham. He is the father of us all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The above passages I have placed here for your reference... please, I beseech you to read all of Romans, but at the very least chapter 4... I only chose to include these passages, that you may understand the "therefore" that chapter 5 begins with... When EVER the bible begins a passage with "therefore" it is good to go back and find out... what it is there for... ;)

Romans 5

1Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
2through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.
3And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;
4and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;
5and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
6For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
7For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die.
8But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
9Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.
10For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.
11And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.
12Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned--
13for until the Law sin was in the world, but sin is not imputed when there is no law.
14Nevertheless death reigned from Adam until Moses, even over those who had not sinned in the likeness of the offense of Adam, who is a type of Him who was to come.
15But the free gift is not like the transgression. For if by the transgression of the one the many died, much more did the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abound to the many.
16The gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned; for on the one hand the judgment arose from one transgression resulting in condemnation, but on the other hand the free gift arose from many transgressions resulting in justification.
17For if by the transgression of the one, death reigned through the one, much more those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.
18So then as through one transgression there resulted condemnation to all men, even so through one act of righteousness there resulted justification of life to all men.
19For as through the one man's disobedience the many were made sinners, even so through the obedience of the One the many will be made righteous.
20The Law came in so that the transgression would increase; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more,
21so that, as sin reigned in death, even so grace would reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Tribulations... hmmm tribulation brings about perseverance? how wonderful... have you ever ACTUALLY thought about this...

Tribulations are NOT fun things... and persevering is tough stuff... this isn't some race, or smelly bus ride, that you JUST need to endure till your stop comes... this is hard life stuff, and persevering, can really be heart wrenching, clinging to Jesus, holding on for dear life stuff... but we have that peace from God....

yet sometimes it may elude you and me.. but it is there... if you aren't sure, haven't felt it just yet... talk to someone who does NOT know the Lord, really get to know people OUTside the christian circles you dwell in.. I don't mean "dump on them" I mean LISTEN to them... and you will learn... just because you aren't feeling the peace, like a trip you took in the 70's ~ does NOT mean you don't have it.. what it means is that your just numb from the tribulation right now... trust, and keep holding on... if you didn't have that peace... you'd REALLY be wigging out!

am I talking too frank for you... a little edgy perhaps.. well... I am in a little tribulation... living amongst unbelievers, most of whom barely speak the same language as I do... but I listen to them, I ask questions.... and in the midst of my tribulation, as my character is being "proven"... I hear...

that one of my most lovely friends, who comes from a Muslim Nation... would prefer to be a butterfly...

She can live then... beautifully, boldly, and die swiftly having lived a glorious albeit short life.... the standard bearing in her culture perhaps too much... the mental Burke overwhelming, demanding, demeaning to the point of despair... I worry for her, for we have not seen her lovely face now for some weeks... precious child... may she be free in Jesus Christ... may she turn to Him, who can save and redeem her, to live and breath and BE that beautiful girl she is...

What do I hear...

I hear many friends, most of whom have left countries, like the rhythms of the drums I hear their stories in my memory... stories of leaving their homelands & trying to start new here in France, some who long to come then to America.. perhaps coming From France, looks better on a Visa... than coming from... Algeria, Pakistan, Somalia, South Afrika, different areas of Asia....? hmm I do not know...I do not have answers to questions like these... no... not I...

I hear their instruments, so beautiful playing on the streets and how they tell me, so many, how they long to simply live here, in Lyon, for they are from what was once French Colonies... why not have their rights met in France?

What do I hear when I listen...

I hear the beating of the drums

I hear the guitars being played

I hear the crys of the people

I hear them ...

all night long

What do you hear...???

do you listen...?

Listen to the trials, to the tribulations of believers

and unbelievers as well?

... extending grace?

letting your character be proven...

It can really be shown to you in the listening... your peace... if you have it...

sometimes... they will tell you to your face.. they wish they had your peace...

funny, too... you may have not "felt" you had it... but... you do... you do have the Peace of God...

If you have Christ..

and with the perseverance, my character proven, there is hope... hope for me, and hope that I can share with them in Christ...

8But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
9Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.
10For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.
11And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.
12Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned--

That is the "good news" that needs to be told to all the peoples...

I think one of my favorite parts of this passage of scripture is when you follow it all the way through... because it is the hope.... it doesn't leave it at just the condemnation... just the "you are a sinner who needs saving" part.... and " I KNOW THE WAY!"... no

Romans doesn't do that... funny, preachers do.. but follow it all the way to the end...

For as through the one man's disobedience the many were made sinners, even so through the obedience of the One the many will be made righteous.
20The Law came in so that the transgression would increase; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more,
21so that, as sin reigned in death, even so grace would reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

So through the ONE many will be made righteous...

I am being made righteous...

I am a work in progress

My children

My husband

are all works in progress....

and where transgression increased

where sin has increased

do I need to be MORE stern, more angry, more HARSH???

no.. the words in the good book, are so plain..

it says, grace should abound...all the more...

just as sin reigned in death

grace should reign through Righteousness...

does that mean they get away with stuff?

grace should reign through RIGHTEOUSNESS...

GRACE.... should REIGN through RIGHTEOUSNESS....

a whole lot to just sort of dwell upon ....

isn't it....

just taking a break from all that "christian-ese" I get fed in America...

and reading that book God wrote...

and dwelling....

thatmom

I do not often do this, but I was very encouraged today by a post on thatmom... I think it was so encouraging in fact, that i am putting the link here for you.... Don't be fooled by the title... It is all about family, and really, about parenting in grace.

thatmom organic gardening

I hope you are as encouraged as I was.

ponderings

"The Worst of partialities is to withhold oneself, the worst ignorance is not to act, the worst lie is to steal away."
~ Charles Peguy

"In the fifth chapter of Ephesians, paul warns, "Let no one deceive you with empty words' (v.6). Repeatedly, he challenges God's people to speak Truth to one another. When we are not honest with each other, we actually do Satan's work for him, acting as his agents, deceiving and destroying each other."
~ Nancy Leigh DeMoss

"Everything in your spirtual life depends on the sort of God you worship. Because the character of the worshiper will always be molded by the character of what he worships: If it is a cruel and revengeful God the worshiper will be the same, but if it is a loving, tender, forgiving unselfish God, the worshiper will be transformed slowly, wonderfully into this likeness."
~ Hannah Whitall Smith

"God is good, and everything He does is good" (Psalm 119:68)

ponderings.....

Looking at Fear and Part 3 of Standard Bearers....

Reading Part 3 of Norm Wakefields Standard Bearer's this morning, and I sit and meditate on the similarities and differences between the Standard bearer, and the True Image Bearer of Christ Jesus... Reading it reminds me of when my husband and I sat in Nouthetic Counseling Training sessions, and learned that the motive of the heart can change, it can change very quickly, in just a moment.

One example given by Norm was that the Standard Bearer ... "He lives in fear of others discovering his faults and inconsistencies (Prov. 10:9). " Where as the True Image bearer "He lives securely without fear (Prov. 10:9). "

Fear... the only fear one ought to have is Fear of the Lord... for it is the beginning of Wisdom...(Pr 9:10)

Yet fear can grip is, grabbing hold and simply terrorize us... Fear unchecked, and gone unnoticed can begin to take hold, with one of the first symptoms being Anger... Yes, anger, rage, quick fused responces.... With every unmet expectation, fear will sink its hideous claws deeper into the flesh... Fear of what others think, fear of not meeting life goals, fear of not achieving the days goals, fear of not... fill in the blank, fear of an outcome... what will happen...if... when..., fear of failure, fear of success... yes... because if one REALLY has any TRUE success in ONE are, will the other areas, those areas that one desires to remain hidden, will they be revealed for all to see... Fear is simply terrible... damned if you do... damned if you don't.. Fear can paralyze it's victim.. Christ came to Free us from this captivity...

Romans 8:15 "For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!" "
I have learned through the study of Scripture, through reading good books like "Fear Worry and the God of Rest"(E. Welch) as well as this particular study by Norm Wakefield, The Standard bearers, as well as a variety of other worthy resources, that Fear can abound when you are a Standard Bearer as well as when you are under the direct influence of a Standard Bearer.... And this Fear, simply must be dealt with..... or it will grow...

I have also learned, as I briefly touched on earlier, that motives of the heart can change in a moment... And being surrounded by "Standard Bearers", can breed such a spirit in you.... motives once pure for Christ can suddenly through, the influence of often powerful, influencial, motivational, and very convicted speakers (the Standard bearer can be Very attractive), can be twisted and changed into a "standard..." You can find yourself bearing a standard someone else has placed upon you, and it's YOLK is NOT easy, it's BURDEN is not light...

Jesus explained how to know when it is HIM.... for His yolk IS easy.... His burden LIGHT....

for more on The Curse of the Standard Bearer, please click on the Link, and read what Norm has to teach... He has two helpful charts in Part 3, and they are most helpful indeed... I have walked through this series before, and am walking through it again for the third time.... Why?

Because breaking free of this mindset is ONE thing, but helping others, is another... I have need to break the cycle in my own home.. That my children would walk as True Image Bearers, knowing real relationship with Christ, and living IN Grace, not trying to live UP to anything, or anyones idea of it... May God's grace wash over you,

may His mercy heal and restore,

and may we rejoice in His fellowship Now, and Always...

remember YOU are loved...

Christ died for you....

Living in this place of Grace - a look at "standard bearing" -N.Wakefield

Romans 8

"1Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.
3For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh,"

Living in this place of Grace ...

I feel like I can breath...

We have weathered some pretty big storms here

This past long year...

walked through some valleys

hung out in the desert,

and now are miles and miles and miles from our comfort zones...

Some of our "comfort zones" were getting less comfortable ...

and God has had a year or two now

to rustle things up

to show us things from another perspective

to grow us up

to stretch us,

and now we are in a place

where we can re examine GRACE....

"Standard Bearers?
Who are the Standard Bearers, and why such a strange descriptive title? I use the term standard because sincere, religious people usually have many standards they consider important to secure significance, praise, and reputation before God and man. Everyone has some standards they practice, but the issue in this article is the level of importance and significance people place on those standards.
I use the term bearers because that is the image they bear to others: Living by certain standards is a true sign of righteousness and spiritual maturity. Others often think of them as almost perfect or Christ-like in their talk and appearance being impressed with the way they live for Jesus. But there is a subtle, yet significant difference between someone living for Jesus and Jesus living in them. Unfortunately, the emphasis of a Standard Bearer rests on the standards rather than relationship.
Standard Bearers have an inconsistent application of God's character toward His creatures. For instance, when trying to convince a non-standard bearer of his need to change, they communicate that God is very stern. Yet when they deal with their own sin, they apply the view that God is forgiving and gracious. There's a disconnect between how they think God sees the sins of others not like them and how He sees their sin.
A True Image Bearer
In contrast, a True Image Bearer focuses on relationship with Jesus and has one aim: to be a conduit of the life and love of Jesus Christ for the glory of God and to lead others to experience the same blessing of such a powerful, love-engulfed, grace-filled relationship. Although his life is lived with standards perhaps similar to a Standard Bearer's, the root and motivation of his life is different - he recognizes his lifestyle as a gift of grace through his relationship with Jesus. The true image of Jesus wasn't a life focused on standards, but a life focused on a relationship with His Father in heaven.
Consequently, a True Image Bearer doesn't demand that others live by standards to gain approval, encouragement, and affirmation. They're more interested in the process of relationship with the Holy Spirit for others. People who live in close company with a True Image Bearer know that if they were to disappoint them or have another view, they would still be respected and valued.
True Image Bearers respect the Holy Spirit and His right to move, transform, and convince others. They apply the power of the cross-work of Jesus to those who haven't seen the light they have and consider the judgment of others a holy responsibility for Jesus alone. They don't think the Christian life is "living for Jesus", but instead it is "Jesus living in them" (Gal. 2:20). When people are around a True Image Bearer, they usually sense the love and presence of Jesus.
Often Standard Bearers think they are True Image Bearers because they have good feelings about themselves due to their commitment to standards. To them commitment to standards is the expression of their love for Jesus. However, they are not unlike the Pharisees in Jesus' day who viewed themselves as the "separated ones." In their zeal to be distinct in a complex, godless Greek culture, they established oral traditions (standards) and considered them not only equal to the written Law, but more important. Their judgment of others and lack of love, forgiveness, and grace was condemned by Jesus repeatedly. A True Image Bearer would not look down his nose at, avoid, or judge those who don't hold to his or her standards. Instead, he lives in freedom and prays for and encourages others to treasure relationship with Jesus. "

~~ Norm Wakefield The Curse of the Standard Bearers Part 1 11/07

I like Norm, I think we have established this...

My husband likes Norm.

If I could... I would have Norm and his lovely bride over for the weekend to visit...

that is how much I like Norm.

Norm can rebuke with out ever making you feel stupid,

but in that loving way, as to let you know...

that there is grace...

(to read Norms article in it's entirety, just click on the name of it highlighted...)

"William Young, author of The Shack, described a man's encounter with God. It caught my attention, and I think it relates to Satan's scheme. He wrote that there are a lot of smart people who are able to say a lot of right things from their brain because they have been told what the right answers are, but they don't know Jesus Christ at all. So really, how can their answers be right even if they are correct? Even though they might be correct, they are still wrong." Norm Wakefield The Curse of the Standard Bearers Part 2 12/07

I too agreed with Mr. Young on this one point, though not with every point made in his book. This point was one that resonated with me.... It really is more simply put... that with Christ... The ends NEVER justify the means.... The getting there is so a part of it, so one of the points of it... So having the "cheat sheet" means you fail.

Yet sometimes in life, there are people that will come into your sphere, that matter to you. They matter for various reasons, and sometimes, these people are people whom Norm describes; they are "Standard bearers"... everything you do, can become a standard, everything you do has to have some "reason", and suddenly there is no room to breath... or, more commonly, everything THEY do, or believe is a standard, something you need to live up to, or perhaps there is a book, a belief system, a church... They have standards, and sometimes, their standards can change from week to week... the very act of trying to live up to these kinds of expectations, can be overwhelming, heartbreaking, and spiritually damaging...

So you either try to live up to the Standard and everything "seems" cool...

or you live in a place of grace

and let the healing, living waters of Christ Jesus wash over you,

cleansing you of this hurt...

and you are so so so not cool with the "Standard Bearers...

this can be very painful,

there can be gossip, rejection, excommunication,

but you are so good with the Spirit of God,

you walk with HIM, and He is the point.

Well, God has made it pretty clear to me, to us,

that Grace need abound in our hearts

in our homes...

That Christ Jesus lives here,

and there is no room for anyone else but Him here...

I can not live up to any one's expectations of me

I dare not have any expectations of anyone else either, anymore....

It hurts them, it hurts me, it wounds Christ...

and He has been wounded enough...

I don't want a Pharisee's life for my children...

I want them to enjoy real fellowship with the Spirit of God,

real relationship with Christ their King,

I pray for them, to be able to see the other side of the torn veil....

Colossians

"1Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is,seated at the right hand of God.
2Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.
3For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
4When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory"

If you want to learn more about Standard Bearing, please click on the link, and read Norms articles at www.spiritofelijah.com , his ministry is truly ... ministry to the soul...