bag o marbles....

Remember the olden' days .... when little boys and girls had bags filled with marbles and would play with them at recess, or after school... I don't know the games, I am not that old. But I have seen it on tv shows like little house on the prairie.... :) I have HEARD... that they did this. I even have a son who plays some old game with my father. It is rather in a circle and there is shooting of one marble with another marble or some such thing.
But that bag of marbles....
it comes to mind....
summer days
hot muggy days and nights
and sidewalk games, hopscotch, jump rope, fun games.
This summer most of the children in my neck of the woods haven't been out. Occasionally yes, but for the most part, its been a "ghost town" sort of neighborhood. Video games, movies, day camp have absorbed the summer of the normal suburbanite kid... then there were mine....
It hasn't been a summer of fun and adventure here.
It hasn't been filled with endless days in our pool, or bike rides to the beach, or hopscotch, or cartwheels, or bonfires in the pit at night... nope, there has been little of that here...
Why?
What is wrong?
What happened?
Something major?
Something big?
no....
just a bag full of marbles.... A very big bag....
A naughty adversary,
and a wonderfully sovereign God... who has NEVER left our side or forsaken us...
There is no "elephant" in the room, white or pink or black for that matter....
There is no great Mountain to climb...
just a big bag of marbles...
a silly bag of marbles... child's play really
but then we are children... HIS children;
and someone dumped this bag all over the floor, of our home....
we stumble,
we fall on our rumps,
we struggle to get up,
we walk carefully now,
shuffling our feet...

What do I mean?
Well, we have so many "little" things to trip us up this summer...
No one BIG thing...
just many little things....
Too many to list in entirety...
But here goes a few...
*salmonella (yes it was horrid! over a month of constant disinfectant, and bouts of serious bathroom issues, yes we were reported to the county)
*black algae (all that rain, messes with a pools pH and the heat messes with chlorine and ugh, very little swimming)
*delays and difficulties in my darlings project at work ( a whole bag of marbles just at work)
those difficulties have side effects at home....
*no garden
*behind on yard work
* broken back door that had to be replaced.. (another drama)
* a swing set still not finished (I think it is summer #4)
*one car family for the last, nearly 9 months(that should speak volumes :) God has been gracious in this with gas prices as they are :), and drives to work so I can sometimes have the car ! woohoo!)
oh and we mustn't forget the big increase in property taxes...
or the many health issues facing each child
or mama,
oh the poor children and their sick mama, icky pool, no car, endless chores, rather than endless summer days..
the 6 week head ache... or is it 7 now... hmmm :)
oh and this week
the massive infection in mama's tooth (yes that would be me)(the probable culprit of lengthy head ache) which needs to be pulled... that is a drama if there ever was one. (I am so enjoying sharing with you all this. I am rejoicing!)
Oh the constant illness and events to keep us from regular fellowship at church....
Our church is about 40-45 minutes away....
with illness and various other issues (car issues, family events etc) even attending has been most difficult.
We have on occasion had to attend a different church just to be able to Worship God, this is so hard....
Each time some wonderful occasion has come up at church, we simply can not be there... I don't know how to express how difficult it is to not be able to participate in your church....
these are just the more sightly issues or "marbles" that we trip on...

What is God taught me?
What am I learning...
to be graceful and patient even when I am in pain....
that yelling at someone because they are yelling and it hurts, makes the hurting worse, and quiet words go farther... isn't there a Proverb that confirms this??? hmmm
To be thankful to the Lord for headaches, because He is teaching me so much with it
To go to Him in prayer for everything.
To trust to my husband my self, my health, my whole being, because God is worthy of my trust and He's called me to do this.
That the scriptures say that My Husband should love me as much as he loves his own self, and will care for me as he would care for himself, and I need sometimes, well to LET him.... :0)
I am learning, that I need to go where ever God is calling us, and not stick my feet in the sand and yell and tantrum, like Ben, about what I want. (funny how two year olds can rebuke you just by BEING)
I am learning it is so nice to fellowship with people that look the same, and do life the same, but that God might not always have me there... (this is hard) Because I THINK that God should want me where I am comfortable... but I don't have any scripture references for this... email if you find some :)
I have learned yet again that too often what I am learning, I have already learned, and apparently I don't KNOW it enough to walk it... oi vey)
I am learning (yet again) that two cars is a luxury, and God is refining us with one... thank you Lord.
I am learning to be thankful for fellow gardeners :) Who share their abundance with others...
To trust,
to believe
to walk what He teaches me
to walk where God leads
to walk as He wants me to
with or without the "reasons" for...
I am tired....
I am thankful...
I am overwhelmed.
I am overjoyed with the Love of Christ Jesus....
I have been so humbled this summer...
So broken,
just when I think there is little left of me,
He shows me more,
I wonder when will I ever get to the end of me...
I am so wearying...
I am so glad God is so patient,
that He will NOT tire of refining and sanctifying little old me.

there is so much going on... so little to say... if you think of me, just pray...
pray for our health,
for our spirits to not be weary,
pray we'd continue to rejoice in the Lord
In HIS will
His way
where ever we are...
pray that we'd walk wisely
carefully
prayerfully
seeking to be with HIM...
that we'd never put our works, or ministries, our deeds before our Lord and Savior...
but that with all we say, with all we'd do, we'd run to Jesus and lay it all at His feet and work as UNTO our KING, not putting anything before HIM, but that He would have First place in our hearts, minds, and souls...
It looks the same on the outside.
It is different in the heart...
It is a matter of how we approach our work, or our circumstance .... Is it merely my duty, my job? Or am I running past the duty to the throne of the King, and waiting on Him in prayer, seeking to do whatever it is, HIS way, or mine?
its subtle I know...
as I dissect this more and more
I will share
If you want....
I don't have it all worked out... I am learning...
it's like learning algebra... I am watching, and starting to work out problems with my Teacher, but I certainly don't know enough to get up and teach another.... :)
patience....
some day that too will be a virtue some will attribute to me...
until then...
I am growing in grace...
how about you?
please respond, it'll make my day :)
hugs
<>< anika