glazed

So things can get a bit wacky and wild. Yet God in his sovereignty is still totally in control... I am NOT in control, I am OUT of control, but God, He is IN control... so all is well....
I think what is so hard about spiritual warfare on the physical realm, or rather what perhaps adds "spiritual" to the physical is people... yes... I am going somewhere...
Our home is "under attack"... Some Christians would and have told me to walk about my house rebuking Satan and his minions to clear my home of its illness and strain. That all that ails us is wickedness, and evil. Some would tell me, and have, that all I need is herbs and tinctures; this one for this, and that one for that. Some would tell me that my karma is attracting negative energy and I need a shaman to help me find the energy block so that my energy can more freely flow and attract positive energy again, that I am imbalanced. Some tell me to have this surgery or that, take this drug and then take these other drugs to treat me from the symptoms of the first....Some would say all we need is better air filtration, water filtration, hard wood floors, better yet bamboo...not to mention organic EVERYTHING from food to clothing to matress, to shower curtains.... People... and these are the ones who THOUGHT about my plight, and loved me enough to listen a bit before offering their adjenda.....
Then there are the majority of people...
The majority of people ask how you are but Don't really WANT to know. Some are funny because they really think, with all their heart (would argue if you said otherwise) that they do want to know, that they really CARE, but when you begin to talk they learn they don't. What do I mean.... their eyes glaze over....
really?
yep....
See I have done it too...
You know the scenario, a little ol' auntie of someone or other is seating near you at some occasion or other and you decide to make chatter... Be friendly, 'there is no need to see an age gap' you think. 'I can learn a lot from older folks' you tell yourself. So you start chatting, first about the weather, then about how many children she had or grandchildren,' oh dear 17 great grand children', 'Praise the LORD! ' OK, this conversation is going rather well you think, and then it starts.
Words like rheumatism, and incontinence, and discussion of hip surgery, and diseases you thought went out in the last century, words like "gout".... It branches off into discussion of bowel movements and side affects from different drugs, and OH MY all the different drugs she has to take, you are officially GLAZING OVER... yes she can see it, the astute can, only those with feeble eyesight or slower wit won't.... And the subject changes, it's abrupt, she's gone back to the weather, and YOU are thankful...
What do glazed over eyes look like?
a bit like a rabbit.
the eyes begin to dart this way and that, looking for another person, any person. Distraction is the first phase... then verbally come the "oh", " ump hum" " oh my" reallY?" by this point you are making actual eye contact with ol' auntie less and less.... you are searching for a WAY OUT of this dialoge.
She mentions one more symptom and you are gone, glazed, you don't actually hear her anymore, it's a bit like the Peanut's show as a kid. Whenever the adults enter a scene they speak a "blah BLAHblah ha" language and its Very distorted and impossible to comprehend.
"NOT me" you say, "I don't do that." Really? Are you certain you don't? It is rather hard to tell, as our pride doesn't want to admit the level of our caring. We really want to believe we care to know the answer to "how are you?" Maybe you do, maybe you really want to know, then I commend you. You are one of the few, one of the elite.
God's word talks about "bearing one another's burdens"... It's often taught ,or perhaps understood as a "physical" thing we should do. Like bring a meal, or help financially, send a card or give a hug. Yet, sometimes it's spiritual, sometimes more than ministering to the 'person', we are called to minister to the soul. It's listening,all the way through... It is asking hard questions, like... "how do you feel about that? " "How do you remember which medicine to take when?" "Are you feeling overwhelmed?" "did you get a second opinion?" "Are you praying to God about this?" "Can I pray for you?" Sometimes it's just asking the follow up question... "what exactly is gout?" or "endometriosis" or fill in the blank..... :)
The customary "oooh" and the "ahh" and the "uh huh..." are dangerous things to say.. Because you aren't really saying ANYTHING at all. They make auntie feel like a TV show to you, a drama. Maybe she's not into being a drama. Maybe she's just a lady, a real human in the FLESH, that has more burdens than she knows what to do with, and God gave you an opportunity to bear her burden with her because God knows that once you hear her out, feel where she is at it, to know in some detail of what is going on with her, you simply won't be able to KEEP from praying for her. Even if you never see her again, you won't fail to forget her in your prayers for long.
How do I know?
I have learned to listen. Learned the hard way.
HOW? When did I learn about this glazing?
Well, I am fairly young, but I am much like the auntie. My ailments, and all that is going on physically with my family's health, is overwhelming to me. And people ask, and I learn to discern, who wants me to be a drama, who doesn't want to hear anything but the proverbial "fine" in responce to their "how are you?". I have had illnesses, I have had days, weeks, even months, that if I told some people, they would think it were an impossible lie, a made up story, some drama for Monday night television...
I learned when to do a quick wrap up and change of subject to save them the embarrassment of their rudeness, and me, well,save the thread left to my dignity. No, I don't want to be gawked at, gossipped about, the center of any attention, or frankly be disregarded.
Yes, there is more to my life than illness... So I even avoid some health topics, and some peoples questions all together.... Right or wrong, I suppose I do it to protect myself. It hurts, that glazed eye, darting away, hurts and makes you feel lonely. God may choose to heal me this afternoon, and maybe filtered air will help too, I take supplements as well as medications; I am tired of people that think if I say how things are really going, if I say that things are just plain hard right now, that somehow I am complaining. Somehow I am not rejoicing in the Lord, not thankful, must be in sin.... God has allowed, povidentially decreed for me to be right where I am right now, I am thankful, I am rejoicing, but He has me in a hard place. That is NOT ok with some folks. It is ok with me. Jesus promised to NEVER leave me, NOR forsake me. I trust in HIM. I believe HIM. Walking with God is a walk, sometimes it is through a bed of roses, sometimes through mountains, valleys... He NEVER said it was easy, He just said to follow... Follow I will... Jesus wants us to bear one another's burdens.... The world won't, but when we as His followers do, it really ministers to the soul. It honors HIS request... Encourages one on the way. To bear one another's burdens is to BE like Jesus... I don't need to wonder What would Jesus Do... I know what He did, I read the book.
Have you ministered lately?
bore a burden?
have one that needs bearing?
you are loved!