Grace....

Grace
beautiful
amazing
lovely
frankly I find His grace irrisistable... I can't deny it... I am so thankful FOR it... I am so needy of it, and am so drawn to it.
I could slosh about like a pig in a puddle of mud; discussing with you my wretchedness; my sinful state; my total depravity....
but would you get what I am talkin about?
would you believe me?
would I just sound fake?
would I sound like a Luther pre salvation, whipping SELF to be redeemed?
or if you aren't what the "churched" call "churched" would I just sound like a crazy guilt ridden loozer with low self esteem?
or would it just seem like I was trying tooo hard....

There is something sort of personal about my depravity, something sort of intimate about my sin. Something that is really, ultimately between myself and my Savior...

So for now, I'd rather talk to you about the GRACE.... about how I do have guilt... How I don't live up the the standards God has set before me, how He takes me back, again and again... and THAT is amazing....

How when I know I have totally sucked, and been stinky, crabby or whatever, I have found in Him a Friend to run to, a King to protect me, even if it is from mine own self... how HIS promise to me says there is NO condemnation in Christ Jesus.... wow.... yet I find myself condeming myself again and again.... all the more reason to run to Him, to His word; that He might remind me, no condemnation....
no condemnation...
nope
none
nada...
just more grace
with confession...
there is forgiveness

This week at my church's Sunday school... there was a sort of lecture on the sinfulness of King Saul vs King David... it was pretty thoughtful....
Saul disobeyed by not following some rules (yes, this is oversimplification of the matter)
but David committed adultery and killed the gals husband so he could marry her...

yet David is a man after Gods own heart....

Why?

Whenever SIN, was brought to Sauls attention, what did Saul do...
usually he denys it, "nah, not me man..." like a cocky kid... If it is undeniable, and he pulls a fast one, sort of admitting but saying "lets carry on as if nothing happened...for appearance sake... it would look bad... it could upset things....."
He is OK with sinning, getting busted, and keeping the status quo...

what does David do?

generally falls down before God, confessing his sin, and asking for forgiveness... He does NOT deny, doesn't cover up, doesn't pretend, doesn't carry on status quo... he is changed by God... not perfect, still sinful, but he KNOWs Gods grace...

he knows it is beautiful,
lovely
wonderful
amazing
and he knows the only place to get it...
in confession
on his knees before the KING of all Kings

I like that...
I like KNOWING where to go
knowing WHOSE standards matter
and that HE will forgive me, restore me, renew me, and complete me... Lifting me up on eagles wings... I like that... more than I can explain

Because in GRACE... I DON"T have to try so hard to show ANYONE that I know I am a sinner...
because I KNOW
that the ONE that NEEDS TO KNOW
does...
I don't have to try so hard to show or tell anyone how to be a good Christian...
because I don't even know what that means...
I am
only
a follower
of Christ Jesus
There are tenants I believe, prayers that I say, confessions I hold to, that other Christians do not... there are
I am learning
many tribes and tongues of Christians...
we come in many flavors...
this is who I am...
I don't say they are all "correct"
just that I can be FREE to acknowledge the differences...
That I am fairly certain
that I am not correct on every single point, and ....
that I am ok with that...
because I live in GRACE...
and it is a beautiful...
really
beautiful
place...